The Hottie Hunter

This is straight from my guy at The Putdown. He's Hottie Hunter elite. This braud is smoking hot, off the fucking charts and into my suddenly tight pants. Her name is Federica Ridolfi and in keeping with Futbol Hottie dominance, she's best known for appearing on Italian television shows focused on Soccer.

Have you ever seen a girl and thought to yourself "Damn, I just wanna get dirty with her."? Fuck you if you never did. I think about getting straight filthy with a Hottie all the time. And this is one of them. I look in her eyes and they just scream of dirtiness to me. I'm talking headboard breaking, sheet staining, Hottie screaming, dick throbbing dirty. Ya, that's her.

I couldn't resist putting up this candid shot. Most Hotties look normal, at best, candidly. But this Hottie maintains her halo. Seriously, just look at her. Long legs, killer backside, flat tummy. Its a total package. De-fucking-licious.

Not sure if you can tell from this angle, but she's got a sick tattoo snaking up from her mid-region to her right side. Did I say she was dirty? Oops, I meant she's just plain nasty. Lady, I would give you the best 13 seconds of your life.

More Fedrica Ridolfi

Welcome faithful Hunters, The Hottie Hunter has combed the Earth once again in search of Hotties for your viewing pleasure. Today, I'm dropping on you my latest find, the Body-Painted Hottie. This is a different animal, my friends. She's working hard to get noticed. So let's give her attention. Drop some comments and let the Hottie Hunter know who's your favorite. Also, get me some pics of some Hotties to post!!!

Welcome, fellow Hunters. Its come to my attention that I love College girls. They make my day. Where else but in pursuit of higher education can you find "independent," "free-thinking," "uninhibited," and "HOT" chicks? Its like a light switch goes off the second they hit the College campus. Daddy's gone! Oops, where's my panties???

I, for one, hopes she never finds them. Enjoy these pics of College Hotties at their best! For more awesomely Collegial Hotties, check out my boys at Poon of the SEC, Big Ten Poon, and Pac 10 Poon.

Its another Monday after a weekend full of alcohol fueled debauchery. OSU got knocked off their pedestals and the Colts caught the death penalty via the Bolts. What the fuck is going on here? Whatever. The only sanity left in the world lies in the Hunt, gentleman. Feast your salivating eyes on this bootylicious babe. Her name is Erika Medina and she's my blazing Hottie for Monday Morning. She's busy modeling all over the place and appearing on America's Most Smartest Model. I'm busy trying to figure out why she isn't in the Hottie Hunter's bedroom. She's Miss FHM July 2006 and I'm Mr. Hottie Hunter extraordinare. Its a match made in Heaven. Here's your Hottie of the Week, a full week early. ENJOY -

For those of you that know me by now, you know that I have a thing for finding Chicago talent. I know you can relate because we all want something attainable right in our backyard. Screw flying to LA to see hot chicks. Today, after some serious hunting in the concrete jungle, I was able to snag Ms. Hollyrose. This Chi-town cutie was a serious contender for Maxim's Hometown Hottie in 2006. She's a College grad with a banging bod. Whether she's runway modeling or clubbing, this bad little broad brings the pain to men's underpants everywhere. See for yourself.

There's really only one thing I can think of on hump day. Its the same damn thing I think of everyday. Hotties. and Humping Hotties. We all know it goes hand in hand. So while the Hottie Hunter was in the jungles of Hottietopia, he was ambushed by a tribe of Lingerie Hotties. They took the Hottie Hunter to a Victoria's Secret Paradise, filled with Hotties in skimpy, sexy outfits. Needless to say, the Hottie Hunter had to escape, after bagging some Hotties for your viewing pleasure. Oh the things I go through to please my loyal readers. Enjoy -

Victoria's Secret - Watch a funny movie here

I love models.

So as the Hottie Hunter was forraging for Hotties, he was struck with an idea of poontastic proportions. Thus, the Hottie Hunter set off on his journey to find the elusive wet t-shirt Hotties. Apparently, they aren't that uncommon. Found in nearly every continent of the globe, these Hotties revel in exhibitionism. Also, check out my new pet project, The Hotties of Youtube. See below and enjoy -

Mondays suck. But the Bears pimp-smacked the Eagles and I've been inspired to hunt down some cheerleading Hotties for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy -

The Hottie Hunter is back with a freshly bagged and tagged Hottie of the Week. This week's Hottie was found hiding deep within the Hot Import Night tuner circuit. Once again, today's feature Hottie is a Chicago native and she's the cover girl for Import Tuner magazine. AND she was Miss Hot Import Night Chicago 2007. Damn that's a solid resume. She likes fast cars and a lives a fast life. That's definitely Hottie Hunter material.

I really wanted to keep this one a secret so I figure out how to lock her down for myself. But that was being too selfish I said to myself. You'll understand why my pants felt funny when I laid eyes on her. She's got that girl next door that'll ravage you look. Lady, I'm a good neighbor. Come by for some sugar.

Just a special treat. Enjoy.

Gentlemen, meet Ms. Joanna Krupa, the baddest Poker playing Hottie this side of a casino. She's a Polish knockout from Chicago. Man Chicago just keeps churning out the talent. She's been known to profess her love for Poker in her interviews and on her website. She also played in the 2006 WSOP. There's only one kind of poker I'd play with this broad.



So Ms. Joanna Krupa, or future ex-wife as I like to refer to her as, has been cover girl for many magazines, including FHM, Stuff, and Maxim, to name a few. And a lesser known secret is that she was a Juggy Dancer on The Man Show. She's also been on CSI, Scary Movie 4, and Planet of the Apes.

If you want to see more of this Poker Hottie, check out Gorrilla Mask. And here's some more Hotties from the WSOP.

If you love Tom Brady or the Patriots, stop reading now. Scroll down and wank yourself to my other posts. I've grown increasingly disgruntled over media and friends' adoration for Tom Brady. I've unloaded on his ass before. But it just doesn't seem to be enough. Yes, I'm well aware that Brady is America's sweetheart and could do no wrong. But if I refuse to put Hotties on pedestals, then how can I live with myself if I let that ass-clown parade around on top of the world? Man, I had to lock my girlfriend in a cage in a Chicago high rise after I heard Brady bagged Giselle Bundchen. I mean is no woman safe? Today, I'm presenting to you my top ten Hotties that Tom Brady could never and will never bang. The Hottie Hunter searched high and low for those that can resist Brady's intergalactic charm (don't think I didn't hear about your exploits on Uranus, Tom). After a fierce search, lots of alcohol, and a hazy night where I woke up on the side of Lake Shore Drive with a Brady jersey around my waist, I was finally able locate these impenetrable Hotties. Sorry Tom, these Hotties won't ever touch your exhalted one.

10. Gwen Stefani - Besides being obviously married and a milf, this new age Marilyn Monroe is smarter than the average blonde. I'm sure you know her from her days with No Doubt, but this Hottie parlayed her skills into a killer solo career. She then went on to start her own fashion lines, perfume, etc. I mean seriously Tom, this chick is out of your league. She's proven herself to be smarter than the model/actresses you've conquered and this Hottie Hunter is confident she'd slam a door in your sorry face.




8. Diane Lane - She's legendary for her whorish ways in Unfaithful. But I guarantee you won't be getting any unfaithful action ever. She's starred in dozens of movies alongside some big time actors. She's got way too much class for Tommy boy. Her dating resume includes Bon Jovi and fellow actor Josh Brolin. She's Hollywood, Tommy. You're Nottiewood.

7. Vida Guerra - Despite this latin rump shaking Hottie's attraction to dating wealthy men, she's not backing it up on you anytime soon. This chick, who gets by solely on her looks, digs the bad boys. And you, Tom Brady, are far from a bad boy. You're not even backstreet bad. Jeremy Shockey was seen with this bootiful beauty. Derek Jeter (Hottie monopolizing SOB) got with her. Even The Game says he dropped a finger in it. But not Tom Brady. Never.



5. Beyonce "Bootylicious" Knowles - I have a real dilemma with this pick. First I have to acknowledge that she's Jay-Z's girl (which I've hated for over a decade now). So yes Tom, you well never get anywhere with Beyonce. But not only because Jay-Z will drop your ass, but because she's way too smart and sophisticated for you. Her parents groomed this blazin hot broad to be a straight up businesswoman. She's got enough endorsements, deals, fashion lines, movies, records, etc. to eclipse anything you've ever done. Superbowl that.


4. Aishwarya Rai - This one was painful too because it conjured up memories of an ex that had an eerie resemblence to Ms. Rai. This chick is so hot, I had to get a commercial to show you. One picture was not enough. And guess what Tommy. You'll never lay a hand on this chick. This is Miss Univerise, Miss Bollywood, Miss Most Beautiful Woman in the World. She's got more fans in one town in India, then you do in all of America. And she likes bad boys too. Just not your day, is it?

3. Penelope Cruz - This one is taken. By me. As soon as I get the opportunity, I'm marrying her. So that means no Tom Brady. Period. But my cockblocking aside, Miss Vanilla Sky owned the latin movie scene, then went on to dominate Hollywood. She's currently dating Javier Bardem, a spanish actor. She's also been quoted as saying she'd like to adopt some kids someday. And we know you have a penchant for planting your seed with different women. But it ain't happening with a Hottie of Ms. Cruz's caliber. Therefore, Tommy, your All American self is out of luck.

2. Gabrielle Union - All around mega-babe, she originally intended to be a lawyer, and attended the University of Nebraska early on. Seriously Tom, look at her dating resume. Its all African American dudes. The closest she got to vanilla was Jason Kidd. Even the rumors of her hooking up with Derek Jeter weren't true. If that wasn't enough to shut you out of her circle, how about the fact that she's big on Women's issues? I don't think she'd care for your panty dropping ass. Stick to the Patriots. You won't be getting behind her o-line anytime soon.

1. SHAKIRA - That's right. Shakira. The absolute love of my life. My first ex-wife to be. If there's really any reason why you'll never have her, its because I would throw a freakin fit if you touched her. I would literally give up football and live in a drug induced fantasy world for the rest of my days. But I digress. This latin sizzler moves her body in ways which you could never keep up. No Tom, this one has rhythm, and requires a serious workout in bed. Oh, and another reason you can't touch her is because she's dating the son of the President of Argentina. Sorry, you're a nobody.


There's plenty more I can come up with. But these will have to do for now. Someone needs to bring this man down to earth. Seriously. Having Giselle wait outside the locker room for you isn't being humble man. That's throwing dirt in the faces of every blue collar Hottie Hunter.

Holy hot girl Batman!! I'm back with the Hottie of the Week! The Hunt was perilous and long. As I trekked through the hottie rainforest battling amazonian tribes bent on procreation, I almost lost hope. But there, in the distance, I saw sparkling blue eyes staring into my very soul. Captivated, the Hottie Hunter could not resist being compelled. As I neared the celestial Hottie, I saw that this was no ordinary prey. This, my friends, was the culmination of my being!

I bagged the Hottie and dragged her back to my lair. I interrogated her for days. Now I present to you the Hottie of the Week, Miss Monika. A Chicago native and a self made celebrity, she's not only sunburning hot, but she's a smart business woman in her own right. This Hottie parlayed her modeling skills into her own promotion and products companies. True to the Hottie mantra, she'll rip your heart out and make you smile while she does it.

I admit it. The Hottie Hunter has a hard spot for european hotties. Don't judge. There's just something about a girl when you can't understand a word that she's saying, but she leaves your ass shaking like a wet puppy the first night you meet her. And the way she spends all your cash shopping during the day and disappears at night only to come home drenched in the stench of sweat, smoke, and dirty bathroom felatio. How can you resist a chick that won't flinch at hitting on your friends and dancing provocatively with strangers while you stand there feigning laughter? No my friends, you cannot resist this animal we refer to as the European Hottie. Her powers of seduction are overpowering and enduring. And I for one, am forever captured in her spell.

Today, I borrow an idea from the Hotties of Myspace, and I present to you the Hotties of Google Images. Its surprising how much treasure has yet to be discovered from the shipwreck that is Google. Marooned on Diamond Island, Google contains priceless artifacts and poon. The Hottie Hunter risked life and limb to locate this Diamond Island and kick Gilligan and his worthless friends out (execpt Ginger and Maryann. They can stay). Without further delay, The Hottie Hunter presents the spoils of his hunt:

Soccer. A sport that no red blooded, buck shooting, pickup trucking, wife beating American would be caught dead playing. Uh, how do you say in America? Bitch, where's my beer? Monday night football is on!

Well, I say f*ck that! I'm officially hopping on the soccer wagon and riding it straight into some eastern european poon! Why, you ask? Just see below for a world class match of epic proportions. Watch how the team trains tirelessly, stretching and bending in preparation. Notice the fearless gameplay, participants willing to lose life and limb in order to win. No gentleman, this isn't just a black and white game. This is FUTBOL!!!!

Its Monday and I've got another reason CHICAGO ROCKS!!! For all those bears fans out there, this is for you!!! Eat it Packers!



Check the rest of today's hotties and keep an eye out later this week for my HOTTIE OF THE WEEK!

Lake Michigan. And some fine fishing.

Chicago. Where the girls drink. And boats boat.

Where the f is the lifeguard? I'll be there in a sec girls.

Crikey! The elusive prey hid in the VIP, unseen to the naked eye of the average human male. Look how they interact socially with the other class members, laughing and drinking! See how the blokes surround them, acting as if they've never been out of their homes? Its a beautiful sight indeed. And that's why it has become so much more important nowadays to preserve these creatures. Their numbers are dwindling worldwide as the notties and biggies have encroached on their habitat and destroyed their way of life. But with careful effort, we can help revitalize their population and drive back the notties. Please, do what you can to help the effort. Hottie Hunting is a difficult job, but we must all play our parts.





BIG UPS TO Y BAR IN CHICAGO FOR HOSTING A SCHOOL GIRL NIGHT a few weeks back. These hotties were flushed out into the open and hunted down thanks to their efforts.

It started innocently enough. A simple question: Will a fat guy choose food or a girl? Hilarity ensues.

Watch out for the guy from Chicago sporting the CUBS HAT!!!!

If it's hotties ye be chasin, ye be at the right place! Chicago's ladies continue in their dominance across the board. If you'd like to see some more midwest talent, check my guy at Big Ten Poon. Thanks to my boy Docksquad for this pic!! Damn right she's a true cubby fan!